The Five of Cups…

Remember when you were little and something disastrous occurred because of your behavior? Maybe it was an accident or maybe you did it on purpose, but either way the result was devastating. Knowing you would have to take responsibility and face the consequences was always traumatic. The fear, the guilt, the shame, the doubt and the undeniable dread of having to come clean, when you just want to run and hide? When you look back now, it’s kind of funny just how inconsequential it all seems in retrospect. I once let an orange crayon melt on the seat of my parent’s new car and I couldn’t shake how miserable it made me on that family trip. Though, now, we all joke and tell funny stories about it. To be honest, if you ask me, that all grey interior was just screaming out for a pop of color!!! As children, as adults, as humans - sometimes we just mess up. To dwell on this and torment ourselves with “should have, would have , could have” is not useful. Don’t hold on to those feelings of shame - they can grow into some very toxic self harming thoughts and behavior. So, it’s broken - but you still have a lot going for you and so much more to come! Get your head outta your hands and wipe that look of fear off your face. Forgive yourself and join us in the land of imperfect potential. Later you will look back on this moment and chuckle as you retell the story to others. I promise….

“I crashed your pickup truck and then I had to drive it back home - I was crying, I was so scared of what you would do…
of what you would say…But you just started laughing, so I started laughing along saying, it looks a little rough
but it runs okay - it looks a little rough but it runs good anyway…” - Ani DiFranco from her song, Imperfectly

The Five of Cups from The Slow Tarot by Lacey Bryant